Funny Story

If you don't have an at least somewhat crude sense of humor, just pass over this.

Pregnancy is a real doosy on the female body. I seem to have lost control of my farts. A few weeks ago, Dave and I were in Eddie Bauer trying to find some slacks he could wear to his new fancy job. I was sitting in the dressing room with him and realized I had to fart. Holding it in right now is not an option-- there's really not enough room for me, baby, AND a fart. So, I proceeded to tell Dave, "I have to fart." We like to give each other warning so we can be prepared for the stench that follows. So nice and proper, don't you think? Anyway, Dave tried to talk me out of it....
Dave: "No, honey. Hold it."
Ash: "I can't."
Dave: "OK, just make it quiet."
Ash: "How?"
Dave: "Shift your weight and let it out slow."
I followed Dave's instructions as he gave them and proceeded to rip a huge, progressively louder fart in the middle of the Eddie Bauer dressing room. Progressively louder because the instant I knew it was audible, I just started laughing and lost all control and just let it rip. I don't remember if it was stinky or not, but we had a good laugh.

For the record, I can generally make my farts quiet. But as I mentioned, pregnancy is a real doosy on the female body.

Howdy!

Hello from Texas! We've been here about a month, and so far so good. I mean, it's all in your attitude anyway, right? Sure, it's hot. Sure, there are spiders all over. Sure, it's windy. Sure, it's humid. BUT, it's green, there's air conditioning, everyone is super nice and friendly and there is anything you ever wanted eat, shop or do within a 15-45 minute drive. It will be awesome once the heat subsides a little and I can entertain the thought of being outside longer than it takes to get from the car to the store or the doctor or wherever. I'm sure fall and spring rock around here, and winter is a bit chilly in the 50's or something. Not bad. I guess we'll see!

Dave is going through training at Countrywide. Who ever liked training, anyway?

I'm getting gigantic and fat.

Here are some pictures.

The Dallas Museum of Art

The gigantic I was mentioning earlier. Aren't those shorts awesome!? My dear mother sent them to me and I think they are so appropriate for someone of my current size and profile. They have pockets!

By the way, the baby is due July 10th. At my last doctor visit on the 19th, I was dilated 1cm and had gained 4 pounds from my last visit. SWEET! I about ripped off all my clothes and stood on the scale again, but I figured that would only be more depressing when it read within ounces of the first shocker. Why don't you try being pregnant??