I've been noticing the last few days that Miles is 2. I can honestly say that I have enjoyed every stage of his life. I was never anxious for him to get a little bigger or do a little more. I just enjoyed him how he was. I think it's just my personality type. But lately, I've been feeling like he's getting too big. Too old. I'm starting to miss the little-er stages. Maybe I'm baby hungry, or maybe I just really hate that he can take his diaper off now. Or, since I'm in Young Womens at church, maybe I'm acutely aware that he's going to freakin grow up and be a teenager some day. It seems so impossible right now. I love this kid.

He seems smart and quick to me, though I don't have anything to compare it to and I'm his biggest fan. He's known colors and shapes for a long time, but since we moved here he's learned the alphabet and to count to 10. He can't talk worth beans, though he tries all day long. He can say lots of words and phrases that I can understand, but he wants to talk in sentences. Somewhere between his brain and his mouth it gets all jumbled and comes out as some sounds I absolutely cannot decipher even though he repeats himself 10,000 times.
He's been naughty about taking naps lately, and he trumps every discipline effort I have by being ridiculously funny or compliant about it. One day I was taking toys away in an effort to make him understand that naps are non-negotiable around here. I would ask him, "what else?" He would look around and say "aaahhhhhhhuuuuuuum... no balls? Aaahhhhhhuuuuuuum... no wooey eh buzz?" Happy all the while.
At the grocery store I told him he was in trouble for not taking a nap and that he couldn't have anything (he typically wants me to hand him everything I put in the cart and whines and asks for things). What did he do? Sat there perfectly quiet the whole trip. Like a doll.
Just the other day I made him put his face in the corner for taking his diaper off. Face in the corner was born in the last couple of weeks because of the non-naps. He hated it and cried harder than I've ever heard him cry. We felt really bad cause he hated it so much and consequently were using it only when it was serious business. Anyway, this last time, I had already decided to do away with the corner, but this taking off the diaper business has been ticking me off big time, so I had him do it for about 30 seconds. When I touched his arm and told him he could come out, he looked at me with his watery eyes and a confused look on his red face, turned around and put his nose back in the corner. What? Does this kid actually have some concept of time? It was like he knew that 30 seconds was short and he was supposed to have more time. Poor Miles.
Anyway, I've been all racked in my guilt for being so mean/strict to such a sweat and well behaved child. So, if he takes a nap he takes a nap. If he doesn't, at least he still goes in his bed for a couple hours. And he's not
that hard to handle for the remaining hours of the day.
After all, he is 2. He's getting big and I'll miss these days just like I'm missing days past. I don't want it to be a blur of discipline when it doesn't have to be. I was just as sad as he was that he had to go to bed without books or songs-- that's a serious bonding time for us. I love that time. It's the best possible end to my day of motherhood. I missed it.

So, I guess you pick your battles. Miles, we fought, but you win. You're so good and I love you so much. You are such a joy and such a blessing. Take a nap if you want, but get out of my face for at least 2 hours every day and don't take off your diaper anymore. Or else. Right? Love, mom.